Pancakes and Syrup

This weekend, I made pancakes. At our house, since we want to eat them while they're hot, we find ourselves eating them in shifts. One of the kids put placemats on the table, and a new bottle of syrup. Erika was the first kid I served. She sat down, and I noticed that she was struggling to get some syrup out of the container, which was still sealed from the grocery store.

I said, "Oh, sweetie, there's another syrup in here that's already open."

Erika immediately got up and returned the new bottle of syrup to the pantry near where I was flipping the next batch of pancakes. She looked around, but didn't find what she was looking for. I came over, and found the opened syrup bottle behind a few boxes of cereal. I handed it to her, and she poured her own syrup.

As I continued with my pancake-making prowess, I considered the very remarkable thing that just happened.


I didn't say, "Erika, no."

I didn't say, "Erika, put that back."

I didn't run over to the pantry and switch out the unopened syrup for the open bottle.

I said, "Oh, sweetie, there's another syrup in here that's already open."

And she "got it."

She knew that the word "sweetie" was referring to "Erika."

She knew that "another one already open" meant "please put this one back" AND "use this one instead."

It was a reminder to me that sometimes we dumb things down when speaking to Erika to ensure that she will understand. Because she gives us very little verbal feedback, it is often difficult to know how much she really understands. But I'm convinced that she really does pick up on more than we give her credit for. It's a reminder to me never to allow others to speak about her in her presence, as if she's not there.

She is there, and she understands.

-Erika's Mom