-Gonzo (The Muppet Movie)
I'll admit, I was dreading this evening: the monthly meeting of the Boxing Autism Club. Not that I had anything against the group, but I had decided a while back that I'm sort of "over" the whole support group thing. Nevertheless, I had a reason to be there. And I'm on "school break" this week, so I was out of excuses. Reluctantly, I attended tonight's meeting.
I haven't always had this attitude toward support groups. My first experience with a support group was one which I enjoyed very much, our local twins/ multiples club (I was even a founding member). After giving birth to triplets, I quickly learned that I would now be known as "the triplet mom" (I almost didn't even need a first name any more), and here was a place where I wasn't alone in dealing with all of the joys and daily adventures of being a mother of multiples. Through this group, I have formed wonderful, lasting friendships with an amazing group of moms.
But joining a support group because of something less joyous than having twins or triplets is a whole different ballgame. I have been down this path before. I have attended the "mom's night out" with our local group that advocates for children with special needs. I put in my time with a local group which supports the needs of people with special diets (a group comprised mostly of parents of children with Autism, whose children are on the gluten-free, dairy-free diet). In the end, I got what information I needed, then got-the-hell-out. There is a place for such support groups, I thought, but I was done spending my rare nights out with people who only knew me as "yet another mom of a kid with Autism." I decided long ago that there is a place to be "Erika's mom," and there's a place that I needed to carve out for just me, when getting together with friends is "just because," and not because of the common struggles we are facing.
In case you are wondering, the label of "Autism mom" trumps "triplet mom" any day. Kicks its ass right out of town, actually. I'd give anything to be known as a plain ol' "triplet mom" again.
I was motivated to attend tonight's meeting for the sole purpose of making contact with a group whose organizer was able to provide me with information about getting some funding for speech therapy for Erika. In a way, my motive was selfish. But I'm no rookie to the whole "Autism mom" gig, and I know better than to pass up such resources. They are few and far between here in Michigan, where there is still no insurance coverage for private therapy for kids like Erika. So maybe "selfish" is the wrong word. I guess my motives were to be "resourceful."
I was absolutely blown away by this group of women. I was humbled by their strength and character. Support group, my ass. These women rock. These are my people. Our struggles are real and raw. I am so grateful to have met these women tonight, and I feel a renewed commitment to getting resourceful (and then some) on Erika's behalf. This is definitely a group of women who I look forward to getting to know better.
On the way out (we overstayed our welcome at the free-for-nonprofits meeting place), I heard one of the women talking about her four-year-old daughter, and her love for everything Sesame Street. Initially, I didn't realize that she was talking about her daughter, because she was describing Erika's behaviors to the letter. I thought that she had seen Erika's website, and was describing it to somebody else. When I realized that she was describing her own daughter's obsession (and how she recently added the phrase, "You look TERRIBLE!" into her repertoire, because she heard it on Sesame Street), this stopped me in my tracks. I briefly described Erika's continued obsession with Sesame Street and its impact on how she communicates in scripts. It was so nice to be able to refer her to Erika's World. I look forward to comparing notes with this mom in the future!
Stay tuned for more updates regarding Erika. We've been very busy lately (mostly in good ways).
-Erika's Mom
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