Mom's Blogging Hiatus

I haven't updated this blog in quite a while, and for good reason. Rather than leave readers and supporters hanging any longer, I feel that an explanation of my blogging hiatus is in order, followed by an update on all of the recent exciting news about Erika. There is bad news, and there is good news. Let's start with the bad.

I have taken the break from blogging for personal reasons. Specifically, I am getting divorced, after 18 years of marriage. I don't care to elaborate much, other than to say that the kids are doing well, and their dad and I are working together to ensure that this transition to a new normal is done with the best interest of all three of our children in mind. I was requested to stop blogging about Erika during this period, and I found it in my best interest to do so.

While I know that new challenges lie ahead, I am looking forward to this new phase in my life. I am eagerly anticipating my return to work, and the great news is that Erika has made great progress this past year, affording me the opportunity to move forward with my career.

Sorry is a feeling.

Erika had a rough morning, like she hasn't had in a while (I won't go into detail, but here is an example of what a rough morning can look like). By the time the bus came, I was holding her hand and escorting her down the driveway, while she tried repeatedly to kick me. The bus driver watched as I expertly dodged those kicks, until finally, Erika pulled away from my grip and ran away in the opposite direction of the bus.

Clearly, this was not going to be a great day. I told the bus driver that I'd be driving her to school this morning. Good call on my part, because the bus driver informed me that she could not allow her onto the bus if she was exhibiting these kinds of behaviors prior to boarding. Fair enough.

The car ride to school
I have no idea why things are so rough on the bus right now. It's tempting to drive her to school for the rest of the school year, although I currently have a 9 a.m. class twice a week, so that's not really an option until my semester's over. Let's face it, any parent knows that by her not getting on the bus and me driving her to school, it is possible that I am rewarding (and even encouraging) the unwanted behavior. But I can't really look at it like that right now…her behavior prevented them from transporting her today, so I had no choice in it this time.

Erika had no problem getting in the car to go to school. She was neither defiant nor aggressive. She was very matter-of-fact about it. Once it had been decided that the bus was not an option for today, I also took it all in stride. She had tried to kick me and hit me while waiting for the bus, but now all was calm, and I was more than ready to embrace that.

Off to school in a straight jacket

On the day before Christmas break, when most parents were scrambling to complete all of their last-minute Christmas preparations, I sat in a brainstorming session at Erika's school, working with her teaching staff and school administrators on a comprehensive plan to deal with some of her behaviors. Erika has been dealing with extreme anxiety, and the behaviors which come along with it are tough ones, ranging from unhygienic to uncooperative and, at their worst, violent. Whether you call it oppositional defiance or anxiety, we came up with about twenty different interventions to try to deal with her behaviors, and to ensure the safety of her classmates and teaching staff. Revisiting her medication, which obviously was not working for her, was put at the top of my to-do list.

Since then, we have changed her medication, completely eliminating an ADHD med which her pediatrician wanted to try her on before moving her to anything else. The medication did nothing to curb her behaviors or anxiety, and even made her sleepy during the day. Her violent outbursts at school (in which her teaching staff needed to physically restrain her) continued,  but now they were followed by a forty-five minute nap. A few follow-up doctor visits later, we are seeing some nice results from Risperdal (it took a second visit to get the proper dosage). She is now taking 0.75 mg/day (a fairly low dose), 0.5 mg in the evening and 0.25 mg in the morning. On this dosage, Erika's days at school have been going well, with no violent outbursts and a very high level of compliance. An added bonus is that she no longer needs melatonin before bedtime, which she has needed since she was three years old.

Erika has had a rough time at school these past two years, and I know that she needs this kind of intervention. I regret that we didn't find out about this medication two years ago. In first grade, Erika was doing well in school and spending time every day in a classroom with her non-disabled peers.  In second grade, with a new teacher and a new school, she was being put in solitary confinement on a

Painful Morning

We've had quite a morning. There's no warning as to when it's going to happen, it just does. All was going well with the morning routine, getting three nine-year-olds ready for school. Erika's bus comes earliest, about 7:45, so I start the final stage of "getting her ready" at around 7:25. Step 1: Give mom the iPad. (Mom packs the iPad for transport to school) Step 2: "Go potty." (as Erika still calls it, despite years of adults, including me, trying to get her to say "Go to the bathroom.") Step 3: Socks on. Steps 4 through 9 include the option of snowpants on or in the backpack, then putting on boots, coat, hat, gloves, and the bus harness that makes her look like she's about to jump out of a plane, once she puts her backpack on. But today, the thought of "Step 3: Socks on." sent Erika into a tailspin.